I got the official news today that when I start my classes again in a couple of weeks, it will be to start my thesis–the homestretch on the way to graduation. I have decided to share our story. You, Me, My Mom, and Uncle Jim. It’s time for the world to know the story of how terrified I was to become your mom, and why. It’s time to talk about how hard it was raising you without your grandma, and how Uncle Jim–who brought you your love for music–became the light that got me through losing her. It’s time to share how losing all of you nearly broke me, but instead is turning into something beautiful.
When we started this journey right after you died, I heard you calling me to write, to turn my professional life upside down and take a chance. I was scared. I didn’t know if I had it in me to climb out of the darkness. I definitely didn’t know if I had it in me to share our story with the world. But now I know I do.
Stay with me, Bubba. This is going to be a long, intense six months. Six months where we finish this part of the journey–where we close the chapter and move on to the next right thing. You are my reason. You are THE reason. Help me find the words.
I love you with every fiber of my being, baby boy. You are missed with every breath I take. You are always just below my surface. Now, let’s go write a book.