It’s me, again. We continue to be amazed by the number of people who have reached out in support of our family. Thank you. The days are getting longer as reality sets in and people, including us, try to get back to “normal.” We know that for us, things will never be the way they were. But I was just telling Dan this morning that while I know that we will never be “the same,” we can’t drown in the idea that never being the same is a bad thing. It’s just a different thing–a new normal. We are finding that the loss of Noah pales in comparison to any other type of emotional pain or heartbreak that any of us have ever had to endure–Dan losing his close friend in his 20s, friends on the battlefield, or me losing my mother and uncle. But we still have each other and we have Gavin. We still have a lifetime of memories with Noah. We are still a great family.
It’s hard to describe in words a mother’s grief or the enormous hole we feel without him. But I do try to think about what Noah would have wanted us to do as we try to find our new normal. He would not want his death to be the defining moment for our family. He would not want us to be broken and wounded for the rest of our lives. He would want us to pick ourselves up and DO something with what has happened. I know that. We have talked a bit about how we will ensure that Noah’s Legacy will live on and we are humbled that Noah’s Memorial Fund will allow us to find a way to do that.
It’s incredibly important to us that Noah’s legacy continues. His legacy is not the tradegy of his accident or the family he left behind. That’s not how we want him remembered. His legacy is his passion and his complete disregard for anything that stood in his way. He was the definition of determined. That’s what we want people to remember and to emulate. We want Noah to be the reason people push harder. We want Noah to be the reason people live outside of their comfort zone. We want Noah to be the reason people try something, even when they think they won’t succeed. So, I don’t think never being “the same” is a bad thing, because I think Noah would want and expect more from us. He would want us to be passionate and determined about life. So when I have my worst moments, that’s what I try to think about to drag myself from the darkness. Noah would want us to find our new normal. We know it’s just going to take some time.